new guy

kochease · Since 03 Jul 2008 760 Posts In Ft. Stevens, OR Opinionated

AAHH CLASSIC.... Another never kited, buys wrong gear then destroys new $2000 kites. HHMM saving 200-400 on lessons, loseing 2000 in equipment or injury to you or worse a bystander. Do the Math and keep our beaches open. Take a lesson for our sake. Were you kiting at so other can know to watch out

lance_k · Since 04 May 2005 565 Posts Hood River Photographer

troll for sho

holly · Since 09 Jul 2006 440 Posts Hood River Obsessed

hitithard... do us all a favor and dont be a kook... take lessons. your kites and pocket-book will thank you.. and alleycat is a homo so dont listen to him.. and a good spot to learn is the dalles...

pdxmonkeyboy · Fri May 28, 10 3:00 pm

Hit it or quit it baby! I like your style man fo sho! Even though you reak of troll, it's raining and I'm not working so I'll throw a little advice your way. First off, throw that zero to hero shit in the trash. If you windsurf then your already a hero in my book.

2nd, lessons are for namby pambys and are actually harmfu to instructors as they perpetuate drug addiction and a life filled with no responsibilities. Make those people get jobs, real jobs, the kind of jobs where you get phone calls and emails demanding things even when your home on bed sick. Lessons are bunk dude. You think I could afford jet plane lessons? No, but I still rent and fly them cause I'm like you, hard core.
There are a couple things you can do and one of them is not "buy a helmet booo hoo". I would take your new kites somewhere on dry land when it is windy. Doesn't matter where, you don't need a whole lot of space. School yards are good and there are often times large patches of open space next to the freeway. To self launch just inflate the kite and lay out your lines nice and straight. Then grab all four lines close tithe kite until it is flying just above your head. Now just let the lines slip through tour hands as the win takes the kite. You may want to wear gloves unless you masterbate as much as I do and your palms resemble a pair of used leather welding gloves.

Now fly the kite.. It's a kite, not a helicopter it goes left or right. After you get the hang of it hold one end of the bar with both hands and loop it it's pretty neat to see!

Can't tell you much on how to ride in the water. Attach the kits and stand up on your board...duh. But self rescue techniques are important. Most experienced people don't use the leashes and all that stuff. I'd you can't relaunch your kite, simply unhook your bar and wrap the lines around your arm. Keep wrapping until you get to your kite. If you have 18" biceps like me it won't take many wraps. Then flop on top of your kite and when other kiters come by you shout "dude bro, I broke a line". Someone with a jetski will come rescue you. After you have been rescued tell the jet ski owner " I've got some gas money and cold beer in my car". Then, when you get to to your car you can say to yourself, what a chump and just drive to the nearest bar. If you still have your boardshorta or rash guard on you can tell the ladies that you kiteboard. They will croon over you, it's like tiger penis extract. I mean they just go crazy when they find out, especially in hood river. Just don't tell them you used to windsurf. It will counter act the Spanish fly effects of kiteboarding.

That's it, your done baby!! Oh yeah, best launches:

Stevenson
The hook in hood river
cottonwood beach in camas
vancouver lake (anywhere is money)
sauvie island when it's cloudy

pauls · Since 20 Jun 2005 564 Posts Northern Portugal Addicted

hitithard · Since 28 May 2010 12 Posts

I am going to try to get out this weekend, is the Hook realy a good kite launch?
I used to windsurf there, seems like it would be rough on the kite, do you have someone hold the kite off the ground while you hook up the kite strings?
I would hate to rip the kite.
I called a friend in California and he also stressed the need for lessons but I am still not sure?

Sella · Fri May 28, 10 3:21 pm

MasViento · Since 03 Mar 2009 235 Posts 97031 Stoked

I've been waiting for this response all day !
I knew it was only a matter of time Razz

DBrice · Since 01 May 2010 34 Posts Vancouer

Im starting to think this dude is just f'ing with everyone

"do you have someone hold the kite off the ground while you hook up the kite strings?
I would hate to rip the kite."

Really ???? We may all be witnessing darwinism about to happen.

broadbandito · Since 26 Apr 2005 342 Posts CSO headwaters WheatHead

If u really want to hit it hard, I recommend a cheap type 2 PFD. Actually, 3 of them. One for your torso and one tied to each leg as flotation and bumpers. Or just use lots of Quilted Northern toilet paper like in the old TV commercials. Way cheaper than lessons and you won't need to ask anyone on the beach for advice or help cuz you'll be indestructo.

pdxmonkeyboy · Fri May 28, 10 4:29 pm

Stop posting and go hit that shit already!!! There was no kite forums when allot of us learned. Yes, someone has to hold the kite when you attach the lines..how else would you know where to put them?

You want to take a lesson, take a lesson from captain Ron. "whatever is going to happen, is going to happen out there"

Link

forrest · Fri May 28, 10 5:22 pm

Fucking love Captain Ron! It's what Snake did after he escaped from L.A.!

sixo · Since 25 Jun 2007 36 Posts west side

I got got! fo sure

dustin awesome · Since 23 Jul 2009 115 Posts Stoked

smile....

Moto · Since 03 Sep 2006 2698 Posts Still a gojo pimp! Moto Mouth

dude fuck kiting. Just jerk off a lot like monkey it will save a lot of cash and headache!

DBrice · Since 01 May 2010 34 Posts Vancouer

bwd · Since 04 Aug 2007 385 Posts Obsessed

Yo, troll.
tie some firecrackers to your ass and go kite through a parade.
Twisted Evil