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Shorts.....huh?

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Northwest Kiteboarding -> Gorge / Portland / Oregon Coast
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PostWed Apr 27, 05 6:11 pm    Shorts.....huh? Reply with quote

My wife likes my rear in a wetsuit, is it some new public standard to now cover-up my greatest ass-et? Shocked

I'm checking out these pictures and wondering why so many are choosing to increase the amount of kitesurfing equipment by adding a pair of shorts.

If I go out without a pair of shorts am I screaming "NEWBIE!!!"?

I have a feeling if everyone is wearing shorts at my beach (Jetty Island, WA) I'm going to become selfconcious and end up wearing some myself. Do they have to be down to the shin or is a speedo ok? Embarassed

Can anyone shed some light on this depeche mode?

Inept_Fun

Since 14 Apr 2005
1417 Posts
Hood River
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PostWed Apr 27, 05 6:52 pm    OK Reply with quote

Ok CraigMc, let me break it down for you. Frankly I don't give a shit, im sure that your wife loves to look at you in a wetsuit, but I will assure you that any guy that you kite with will not want to see anything close to your ass all day. There is one reason for the shorts. There is another thing that some of us like to call steeze. Steeze basically is how sick you look while you are rocking your shit. An example of a rider with steeze would be andre phillip, baggy shorts, and a shirt. Not wearing shorts definantly takes away from your "steeze" while wearing a sweet pair of shorts can add to it. I would have to say that a speedo over the wetsuit would prolly add to your steeze points, I do not know if you could get much steezier than that. I hope that this breakdown has helped you learn about the shorts thing. Also more about why you should cover up since none of us kiters are gay and want to see your ass.
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pkh

Since 27 Feb 2005
6543 Posts
Couve / Hood
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PostWed Apr 27, 05 8:01 pm     Reply with quote

I would say besides steeze it also helps protect the boys on the big wipeouts when your commando. Wink

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PostWed Apr 27, 05 8:35 pm     Reply with quote

"My ass is so round that British scientists use it to calibrate their instruments." Increasing the "steeze" factor could proportionately decrease any action I get at home until the ms's gets with it.

appreciate the fashion tip,

I'll don the shorts to Up the "steeze" and prevent anyone's gaydar from going off.

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PostThu Apr 28, 05 5:57 am     Reply with quote

Plus, if you're getting yarded down the beach, as I do regularly, a pair of shorts my save you from scraping up, possibly ruining, an expensive suit.

Plus, for x-windsurfers, kiting gear is just too small and simple, we need more stuff to put on to prolong the rigging experience.

But for all you George Michaels out there I say shine on...you may enjoy launching from Rooster or North Sauvies where you can really show off!

trevorsmith

Since 25 Apr 2005
501 Posts
PDX
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PostThu Apr 28, 05 6:53 am     Reply with quote

Kiteboarding mag said once in a dos and don'ts of kiteboarding

Do Wear Board shorts, no one wants to look at your penis

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PostThu Apr 28, 05 8:43 am     Reply with quote

2 more reasons for shorts over your suit:

When sailing on the coast, distinguishes you from the sea lions when sharks are looking for snacks.

Provides extra pockets for chew, snacks, etc.

pkh

Since 27 Feb 2005
6543 Posts
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PostThu Apr 28, 05 9:25 am     Reply with quote

Anonymous wrote:
Provides extra pockets for chew, snacks, etc.


Chew?! Oh well, guess it can't be worse for you than a mouthful of the Columbia.

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4Stringer/KipWinger

Since 27 Apr 2005
539 Posts
Hood River
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PostThu Apr 28, 05 9:41 am    What kind of chew? Reply with quote

...My guess is that feller chews Beachnuts.

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