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SnowWhite
Since 24 Feb 2010
16 Posts
All up in Da HOOD'
Choad
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 Wed Feb 24, 10 9:06 am GREAT WHITE ENCOUNTER |
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Earlier yesterday morning I was shredding the waves at the mouth of the coumbia in Astoria. The wind is killer there bro...... Anyhow, I decided to head out to sea cause I am like totally crazy man.. Anyhow, after about a 6 hour stretch of total insanity I decided to come in for a Red Bull tm. Not that I was tired, more or less starting to get cold and thinking about putting on my dry suit. Anyhow back to the story. I was just starting to finally get a glimpse of land when I noticed a 20 plus foot great white about 8 feet off the back of my board. Instantly I pulled the power back on and knew I was gonna be this bad mothers dinner. Bro, i was freakin scared. He got within 3 feet of the board so I boosted. I had to be at least 50 feet in the air. I looked down and to my surprise the shark appeared to be in shock. Seemingly moitionless. I mean, it was as if he was in disbelief. If I didnt know any better I would say that he was thinking I had vanished.
Anyways, that boost probably lasted me a good 45 seconds and as soon as I hit the water JAWS' senses kicked in and the chase was back on. Knowing that i was still miles from shore I had to think quick. Luckily I am like totally awesome at everything I do so I knew that getting away wasnt going to be a problem yet just another story for me to tell.
So, after about 30 minutes into this high spped chase with what must have been the top fuel dragster of sharks I began to get really tired. The only thing I could think about was "man, if I like only had my Red Bull bro..." Starting to feel the cold beginning to over take my addrenaline I had to think fast. After having to boost yet again due to a sudden lunge from the shark I happened to look up, as if I was asking our dear heavenly father for just a little more strength to get me home, and I noticed a coast gaurd chopper. Those cock suckers were tailing me watching me attempt to escape this shark.
THis is when i pulled out my flare gun. Let me tell you something bro's, I was so freakin mad.... With my Rev 13m kite on full power, I must have been going 60 mph. I loaded up one of my anti shark flares, I got a hook up on these so dont ask, leaned back and took aim. I fired yet missed. It was as if the shark knew I was shooting at him. Then, I hear over a loud speaker. "Hey, you down there running from the shark. You can shoot them, they are endangered..." I was like yeah RIGHT!!!! So, with my last and final flare I decide that i have to make this one count. It's me or him. I release my power as to prepare to sacrifice my life for the beast. As the shark approaches, mouth wide open as to enjoy this delicious man meal. BOOM BIATCH!!!!! I got him. Right in the mouth.
I bet most of you didnt know this but sharks scream when they are in pain. True story bro... Anyhow, since these are special flares that only i get a hook up on I cannot tell you anymore details but let me tell you this. That shark isnt gonna be chasing any of us anymore huh guys? I bet you are all totally stoked i took him out of the waters we so much like to call our home.
Well, the worst part about all of this is that was only the beginning. Now that i have the shark chum surrounding me, Oh yeah, the blast from the explosive knocked me off my board into the fridged water. The coast guard is now mad at me and I am feeling hypo... So with the little amount of energy I had remaining I relaunched.
After about an hour of lagging to shore, I cannot find the mouth of the river. Next thing i know I am kiting twoards short sands and my car is in Astoria.... What a day huh bro.... So I hike up to 101 to find a ride. To my luck there was a group of traveling cheer leaders in a bus and they needed a massage therapist to accompany them to there next stop in the San Juan's. So i got a lift back to my whip in Astoria and a happy ending!!!!
Have any of you have an experience like this...? I know my bro Nak has!!!
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"You ain't a man til you had a man" Chad Lewis |
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shred_da_gorge
Since 12 Nov 2008
1342 Posts
Da Hood & Da Wood
XTreme Poster
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 9:15 am |
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| Entertaining. Uncalled for, but mildly entertaining. |
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Sasquatch
Since 09 Mar 2005
2102 Posts
PNW
Bigfoot
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 9:33 am |
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| shred_da_gorge wrote: | | Entertaining. Uncalled for. . ." |
I concur. Nak always puts forth a good vibe and a wealth of knowledge and info. That being said. . .had me laughing more than a few times. . . |
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bulae99
Since 12 Jul 2006
1692 Posts
I give out bad advice.
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 9:41 am LMAO |
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Nice story!! That is some funny stuff, "dude, I was like if I had a red bull.." LLOLOL 
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Hey, I'm being hahahahahrassed! |
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mikeinhoodriver
Since 23 Apr 2009
440 Posts
down wind somewhere
Obsessed
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 9:50 am |
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| Who has that kind of free time?? |
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SnowWhite
Since 24 Feb 2010
16 Posts
All up in Da HOOD'
Choad
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 9:52 am |
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| mikeinhoodriver wrote: | | Who has that kind of free time?? |
I always have free time to tell the truth bro..... Trust me man, if it wasnt for my wings provided by the Red Bull, I wouldnt be here today. Bro, it also took me just as long to share this encounter as it did for you to read it.... Dont hate, appreciate!!! See ya out at the waters bro man
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"You ain't a man til you had a man" Chad Lewis |
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Tony
Since 28 Aug 2006
940 Posts
Portland
Opinionated
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 11:15 am |
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riding for 6 hr stretch - at the coast - late feb - boosting on a 13m rev for a hang time of 45 seconds - flare guns shot at mouth of shark - cheerleaders....
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bulae99
Since 12 Jul 2006
1692 Posts
I give out bad advice.
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 11:59 am The only thing that would make this story any better... |
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is you post a go pro video of it. But, maybe you could just draw some pictures and post them. Nice
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Hey, I'm being hahahahahrassed! |
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Joshiebaby
Since 14 Oct 2007
569 Posts
Vancouver, WA
Addicted
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 12:21 pm |
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| Amazing story. Great Icon. You must sponsored by redbull. |
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lineman
Since 05 Feb 2009
170 Posts
Stoked
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 12:52 pm |
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Nice story asshole. Maybe you could it tell it to the friends & family of of that guy on the East Coast of FL, who just died, in person. No, your too big a pussy.
Afraid to use your real identity on a forum, what a man you are.  |
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Moto
Since 03 Sep 2006
2698 Posts
Still a gojo pimp!
Moto Mouth
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 1:16 pm |
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For those that don't feel like reading the whole thing. Let me give you a readers digest version:
- Hollyfist created a new identity and tells some outlandish story of running from a shark and then shooting him with a flair gun. I'm not sure where he stashes his flair gun when he kites, but anyways. Then he runs into a bus full of cheerleaders and he massages all of them.
I think he retold Nak's story pretty acurately - except the cheerleaders were massaging Nak - other than - you got it right 
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Still rockin gojos, *ssless chaps, and ankle weights! |
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SnowWhite
Since 24 Feb 2010
16 Posts
All up in Da HOOD'
Choad
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 1:44 pm |
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| lineman wrote: | Nice story asshole. Maybe you could it tell it to the friends & family of of that guy on the East Coast of FL, who just died, in person. No, your too big a pussy.
Afraid to use your real identity on a forum, what a man you are. |
Wow.... I thought it was a funny... Didnt realize that you were such a sensitive potty mouth. Like guys before, thought it was funny for a good laugh. Nothing personal lineman. Maybe if you had a picture of yourself i would know who is calling who names. Grow up and stop being such a sour apple.
As far as Holyfist or whatever Motoman wrote... What are you talking about? Can't anyone enjoy their day off and fool around anymore. Geez Louise
It's called fiction bro....
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"You ain't a man til you had a man" Chad Lewis |
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SnowWhite
Since 24 Feb 2010
16 Posts
All up in Da HOOD'
Choad
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 1:50 pm Re: The only thing that would make this story any better... |
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| bulae99 wrote: | | is you post a go pro video of it. But, maybe you could just draw some pictures and post them. Nice |
Actually, I got it all on video... Shitty thing is the camera was lost at short sands. i think i left it on the bus. Maybe those kind cheerleaders will return it to the best kiter/person ever soon. That'd be me of course! Cha, right on
But seriously, there is a lot of sick footage on that camera. It's probably worth at least oh, I dont know. 1 million dollars.... Maybe 1.4 depending on the producer!!!!
and remember guys,
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"You ain't a man til you had a man" Chad Lewis |
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h2olm
Since 07 Jun 2006
124 Posts
Stoked
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 3:53 pm |
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| Man that's some funny stuff! Had me going till the 50ft boost. Maybe the cheerleaders found your camera and they will return it with some great surprise footage that you can share with us at another time;-) |
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Raj
Since 13 Oct 2009
113 Posts
Stoked
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 4:07 pm |
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Where can I get some of those flares!?
Could of used some the other day.......
when I ran into....(fill in the blank) out at the coast. |
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SnowWhite
Since 24 Feb 2010
16 Posts
All up in Da HOOD'
Choad
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| Wed Feb 24, 10 4:39 pm |
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| Raj wrote: | Where can I get some of those flares!?
Could of used some the other day.......
when I ran into....(fill in the blank) out at the coast. |
Sasquatch? Is that the blank?
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"You ain't a man til you had a man" Chad Lewis |
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Hein
Since 08 Mar 2005
1314 Posts
Possessed
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