OT:Hell

Kodiak · Since 01 Aug 2005 1114 Posts Slidey

Don't know if anyone has seen this before. Some one posted it on a gaming website:

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are le aving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

Kataku2k3 · Since 14 Aug 2005 3754 Posts PDX-LA Videographer

That's pretty awesome! Laughing

kiteboard117 · Since 02 Mar 2005 450 Posts PDX McLovin

Hahahahaha thats epic!

boarderchick · Since 10 Aug 2007 196 Posts Wherever there's wind:-) Stoked

Damn that was totally funny as S*&%! That student should feel proud of their response, that was an A+... Man I would have loved to have been that professor reading that.

Gman · Since 11 Feb 2006 4911 Posts Portland Unstrapped

genius!

Nak · Thu Nov 27, 08 8:28 am

LMFAO!

Nice find Jim. Thanks for sharing!

jcohenx · Since 28 Aug 2007 250 Posts Portland Obsessed

Very creative thinking while not violating any known chemistry laws, Kip Thorne would be proud. The only significant assumption being whether souls actually have mass (a subject of much study over the years).

hiphop · Since 22 Aug 2008 11 Posts PDX New Member

Yeah I've seen that one before and it still doesn't make any sense! Is this guy suggesting that because this chick Teresa fucked him when she said she wouldn't that hell IS exothermic? If that was the case then Hell would have been outta business the night Eve balled Adam and nobody would be talking about Hell cuz it simply wouldn't exist! I guess it's just a matter of semantics.... Hell WAS exothermic! Twisted Evil